Disappearing

Early Onset Everything

Covid-19 conquered my house last week, and between sleeping for hours and staying at home, and the intense summer heat and my will to do nothing at all, I’ve been experiencing what it’s like to disappear.

A few people checked in on us by phone a few times, but were mostly surprised to find out that we were sick, or still sick. Even people who love you only think of you once in a while . . .

It hardly rained so the grass hasn’t grown and my acre-and-a-half have been, like me, in limbo. No mowing, no weed-whacking, no exercise.

My neighbors had an attic fire and had to move out of their house temporarily. So now I don’t have neighbors — and I can’t help them because I have Covid.

There are evil spirits hovering in my corner of the world, but they’re mostly just trying to bore me to death.

The disease itself is like having early onset everything. I feel 80 instead of 70. Although now I’m back to 75, and shedding months by the hour. Which is to say that it’s basically just a bad cold. Only worse.

Here’s a song I wrote this week as I contemplated my own absence.

“When I die please bury me/beneath my old catalpa tree/ whose branches stretch clear across my home. / That’s the place I’ve lived my life/and raised my kids and loved my wife/and watched that tree rain flowers on my lawn

Now I don’t want to go across the sea/ Been there, done that/ I’ve reached the age I’d rather be/ at home in the shade with my pussycat

I’m in no rush to reach the end/ I still have fun/ I still have friends/ but that old tree surely calls to me.

Its leaves bloom so late and grow so big./ It’s got these stringbean pods that flip my lid/ Its little orchard flowers last about a dozen hours./ The tree stands over a hundred feet tall/and shades me through the summer right up to the fall.

So when I die please bury me/beneath my old catalpa tree/ whose branches stretch clear across my home…”

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Speaking of songs, the current “open call” issue of ALTE is now at the printer, and the next edition is going to be a collection of music, original songs and covers about “getting old together.” To submit, get in touch with me: lawrencebush@earthlink.net.