Three Jewish women discussing their decision to support Trump and their inability to find decent depilatories under the current administration.
Three mature women are having coffee in a deli in Philadephia. It is obviously a Jewish deli as there are autographed photos on the wall of Barbra Streisand, Jerry Seinfeld, and the heads of the Cardiology departments at N.Y.U.-Langone, Mass General and Cedars-Sinai.
Woman 1:
“Did you watch the news lately? Israel, they are attacking. Antisemitism like I never seen in America since Philip Roth and that book of his where he shtups a piece of liver. Worse, I have a degree from Princeton and I am talking like mine great Aunt Sylvia, who came over from Poland in 19336. Is this because of this f’kockta Presidential race? Because I am due to address the Senate Foreign Relations Committee tomorrow and there are only so many ‘oy veys’ I can use before the goyim get confused.”
Woman 2:
It’s the election all right. I mean, OY YOY YOY, did you hear about Samantha’s boy Max?
Woman 1:
The one who got spit on at Penn, the implication being that since he is named Max, he has to be Jewish and no Jew is safe in America these days. That’s right, Ikey, Mikey, Jakey, Sam, all the boys who eat no ham, watch out, they’re coming for us all. .
Woman 3:
That’s scary. What about Kamala?
Woman 1:
(Stands up, spits three times and rends her garments.)
OY YOY YOY! VEY IZ MIR! FEH!
Busy defending the squad. Which is code for secretly hates Israel, is pandering to the Arab American vote and will one day slit the throat of her Jewish husband in bed.
Woman 2:
It’s not that I’m in love with Trump. He did say some stupid things. Like he wished his generals could be more like Hitler’s. That made me nervous.
Woman 1: Darling, bubbee, please. He was talking about the tailoring. That’s all he meant. The Nazis did have very sharp uniforms.
Woman 3:
I never voted Republican in my life. Or bought retail. But this year, I’m voting Trump. At least he’ll keep us safe.
Woman 1, Woman 2, and Woman 3 light candles, cover their faces with their scarves, stand, and, swaying together, raise their voices in prayer:
AAAHHHHH-MEEEIN!
The women sit down.
Woman 1:
Who ordered the corned beef?
Reprinted with permission from the amazing Joyce Wadler
This piece is brilliant! Perfect satire! And that's hard to exaggerate something that seemed so exaggerated in the first place that at first I thought the ad was being satiric! I live in the community which Hymie's serves. The Main Line of suburban Philadelphia. I've been going there since the 1970's and my former husband's caricature is on the "wall of fame" because he's a "regular." there. So I was stunned when I heard that Hymie's was the site of a pro-trump ad, but mortified and furious after viewing the ad itself. I posted about it to my facebook page which is public, and later that day, I got a DM from the consumer affairs reporter for the Philadelphia Inquirer. She said she'd seen my post and would I agree to be interviewed for a piece about consumer behavior and politics in the age of trump. I agreed and we spoke for about 20 minutes where I shared all of my concerns about the ad... not the least of which was the demeaning ways in which Jewish women were represented. I also said that I wouldn't be frequenting Hymie's deli anymore - that the ad made it harder for Jews ( especially those of us living in a swing county of the swing-ingest swing state ) in light of trump's admonition to American Jews that if he loses, it's would be our fault. I felt that the ad further endangered already vulnerable Jews, especially those of us who do not support trump or netanyahu. Some family members encouraged me not to do the interview, not to give my name or say where I am from, but I chose not to listen to them. They were afraid for my well being - which for me was even MORE reason to share my views publicly. Americans shouldn't be afraid to speak truth to power. The story runs tomorrow. ( Friday). It will be interesting to see the responses.
This is VERY FUNNY! Its the first time I have laughed at the tragic predicament of our great republic. M
This piece is brilliant! Perfect satire! And that's hard to exaggerate something that seemed so exaggerated in the first place that at first I thought the ad was being satiric! I live in the community which Hymie's serves. The Main Line of suburban Philadelphia. I've been going there since the 1970's and my former husband's caricature is on the "wall of fame" because he's a "regular." there. So I was stunned when I heard that Hymie's was the site of a pro-trump ad, but mortified and furious after viewing the ad itself. I posted about it to my facebook page which is public, and later that day, I got a DM from the consumer affairs reporter for the Philadelphia Inquirer. She said she'd seen my post and would I agree to be interviewed for a piece about consumer behavior and politics in the age of trump. I agreed and we spoke for about 20 minutes where I shared all of my concerns about the ad... not the least of which was the demeaning ways in which Jewish women were represented. I also said that I wouldn't be frequenting Hymie's deli anymore - that the ad made it harder for Jews ( especially those of us living in a swing county of the swing-ingest swing state ) in light of trump's admonition to American Jews that if he loses, it's would be our fault. I felt that the ad further endangered already vulnerable Jews, especially those of us who do not support trump or netanyahu. Some family members encouraged me not to do the interview, not to give my name or say where I am from, but I chose not to listen to them. They were afraid for my well being - which for me was even MORE reason to share my views publicly. Americans shouldn't be afraid to speak truth to power. The story runs tomorrow. ( Friday). It will be interesting to see the responses.