Hello Joycie. I, too am nearly 85, live alone and like you, in a full time relationship with my old body. I resonated with every single word of your post. I do have some thoughts about the burden on the kids parts. My kids ( late middle-aged women) live nearby. Why? Because I left my home to move near them. Being a burden, which my mother was, was the result of the fact that she lived a plane ride away. A long plane ride. So every single bit of her decline required a flight, medical decisions and caregiving before I could return to my life. But I knew my mother continued to believe and was proud of herself for not being a burden on me. I decided to make it easy on my daughters. So I'm nearby, which is as you might imagine, not without its own set of problems. I see too much of their lives.
My book The Kitchen is Closed was my attempt to honor, as honestly as I could some of the unspoken truths about getting and being old. We're not crones. At least most of us aren't. We're not even necessary terribly wise. Maybe just a little bit. Being old is hard work, requiring full consciousness, patience, a wry sense of humor and good good friends. That's crucial. Even through we hope they don't die before we do.
Here we go into 85. May we land softly in this next year of oldness. Again, thank you.
Thank you, Sandra. I've heard about your book and am going to read it. I, too, moved - from the East Coast, 7 years ago - to be near my daughter and her family. The fact that they live in Southern California is a real blessing. I couldn't agree with you more about a sense of humor and good friends.
Help others! Lots of ways: tutoring, soup kitchens,
Hello Joycie. I, too am nearly 85, live alone and like you, in a full time relationship with my old body. I resonated with every single word of your post. I do have some thoughts about the burden on the kids parts. My kids ( late middle-aged women) live nearby. Why? Because I left my home to move near them. Being a burden, which my mother was, was the result of the fact that she lived a plane ride away. A long plane ride. So every single bit of her decline required a flight, medical decisions and caregiving before I could return to my life. But I knew my mother continued to believe and was proud of herself for not being a burden on me. I decided to make it easy on my daughters. So I'm nearby, which is as you might imagine, not without its own set of problems. I see too much of their lives.
My book The Kitchen is Closed was my attempt to honor, as honestly as I could some of the unspoken truths about getting and being old. We're not crones. At least most of us aren't. We're not even necessary terribly wise. Maybe just a little bit. Being old is hard work, requiring full consciousness, patience, a wry sense of humor and good good friends. That's crucial. Even through we hope they don't die before we do.
Here we go into 85. May we land softly in this next year of oldness. Again, thank you.
Thank you, Sandra. I've heard about your book and am going to read it. I, too, moved - from the East Coast, 7 years ago - to be near my daughter and her family. The fact that they live in Southern California is a real blessing. I couldn't agree with you more about a sense of humor and good friends.
I so appreciate your honesty in admitting all this. Thank you.
Thanks. I've always tried to be honest. But at this age, as my husband used to say, "None of us are running for office."
Life is with people.