Khanyisile Ndaba, grandchild by choice and circumstance, graduated from
Hunter College this week.
Khanyi is a non-binary they, and although my language is tied to habit and learning so
many years ago. I know that’s true of many of the readers of Alte. Still I try hard
to call Khanyi they.
(Fun fact: a gender neutral niece is a nibbling.)
Khanyi is the child of my South African daughter in law. We brought them to this
country 11 years ago when they were 11, You probably want to know the reasons why.
The story is longer than this essay but the short answer is: we wanted to.
Our life is better with Khanyi here.
When Khanyi came they lived with us, and with our son and daughter in law.
We went to an immigration lawyer to ask how they could be legally here.
A school had to sponsor Khanyi. New York City public schools can accept
undocumented children.But they can’t sponsor them.
We looked for private schools and scholarships. Khanyi is half Zulu half colored. We
asked the first two schools three questions: how many kids of color, how many
teachers of color, and were the workers unionized. After the second school Khanyi,
wiser than I, said let’s give up union workers for now. (We did and Khanyi went to a
sweet liberal-ish mostly white school in the Berkshires called Buxton (un-unionized
workers) with a full scholarship, where they learned some,and made good friends.)
When it was time for college, Khanyi wanted to go to a place with half students of
color. The school suggested Bard, Sarah Lawrence, Smith, Mount Holyoke and we
dutifully visited.
When we came home to New York City, we looked at BMCC which in so many ways
was an antidote to the private schools we visited. The students looked like Khanyi.
Many were first generation. Teachers of color were abundant. The workers were even
in unions. The school’s president From BMCC is an African American man with an
expertise in healthcare inequality. Two years there were better than we hoped.
Then Khanyi went to Hunter College, the school many of our Jewish relatives
attended. Hunter, by the way, is today more than half students of color. Most of the
department heads are women of color too.
At graduation this week at the Barclay Center, 3,000 graduate students from 150
countries and with relatives from this large and amazing world gathered and
celebrated education, and the roads they took to get there. Students overcame
impossible difficulties and there they were – from 22 to 64 (!) all getting degrees.
Planning to make this world a little better by becoming special education teachers,
social workers, immigration lawyers, photographers. (No
one mentioned venture capital or influencing, or any kind of social media).
Hunter College students, and CUNY students in general seem to be where hope is
found. They told story after story of impossible beginnings, persistent middles, the
desire to study, and to make the world better.
Everyone in the audience left a little happier.
Other things that make us happy:
Three good friends of ALTE have new books, worthy, original, and equally wonderful:
HYMAN by Lawrence Bush (Ben Yehudah Press)
SHANDA by Letty Cottin Pogrebin (Post Hill Press)
WORKING 9 to 5 by Ellen Cassedy (Chicago Review Press)
About ALTE, our next issue will be website only. The theme is disguise. We have already received a few wonderful submissions. If you have something you would like to submit, artwork would be most appreciated, please email it to altetogether@gmail.com by no later than June 7. And do check out the website: www.altegettingoldtogether.com. Take a listen to our last issue which is all music.
And here’s a fantastic singer, thanks to Alte reader Doug Eisman.
https://www.pbs.org/video/episode-5-9iswl7/azzSSzzwaq
Write to us. Write for us. Write with us.
Love,
Esther
My mother was a Hunter Alum.
I have been feeling a depletion of hope over the last few years. Thank you for replenishing it with this beautiful story of Khany's graduation and the 3,000 other lights that will shine brighter thanks to Hunter and supportive families. Mazel tov Khany!!